Life is all about making choices
This morning I woke up with a cloud over my head and tears in my eyes. The third trimester hormone roller coaster is not my favorite ride and this morning I hit a low. Thanks to a super busy weekend plus Monday with NO regular exercise I was in bed ignoring my children and trying not to cry.
I assessed the day and realized that something had to give. I belong to a wonderful group of professional photographers that go out and shoot for fun once a month. It's great doing what I love for a living but I find myself avoiding my camera when I am busy with jobs. I don't go out to shoot just because as much. That is what this group is for:) An outlet of creativity. We were suppose to be doing a shoot today up in Elfin Forest. I decided my mental state and my children's happiness were more important than shooting. I texted my apologies, from my bed, and attempted to start the day. After getting upset about Frank not getting dress and Ollie punching Frank where the sun don't shine I found myself standing in the middle of the kitchen with both boys on time out. From there I had to make another choice. Do I forge through till tonight when I have to teach water aerobics to get my endorphine boost and shake off the day or do I go to the gym this morning and shake off the day before it begins?? I finally got the boys settled down to breakfast and Ollie asks me for his Slurpee. What? You mean the one that you finished 95% of so I tossed the rest? Yup, that would be the one. As my son fought back unconsolable tears about his loss I decided I needed to get the heck out of dodge as soon as possible. Jesse came home from work and took over with the boys. I took off. I drove down the road listening to yet more coverage of the Osama Bin Laden killing/burial/conspiracy(really?) on NPR. I laughed as the interviewer asked "so what do you think people feel over the death of Obama?" Whoops! Guess we knew what was on her mind. I got to the gym, retrieved my googles and cap and shoved my stuff into a locker that I never lock. I must still have some faith in the general public. Heading for the pool, I just prayed I wouldn't have to share a lane this morning. I wanted to be selfish for a half an hour. I wasn't in the mood for slow people or breathing in others wake! Whew, one open. I pulled on my cap, adjusted my goggles and started. The workout was nothing to shout about but it was finally me time. The noise blocking water with little to no thoughts running through my head was awesome. After about a half an hour I had to call it quits. I know my body's limits and teaching tonight meant I had to take it easy this morning. As I showered and got ready I realized how lucky I was to have had the opportunity to "do over" the day. I feel better and know that my day will not be what it could have been. Am I still emotional? Yes. Am I in control? I am now.
