Is it Chemisty???

Seriously, Jesse and I just attract emergency situations.  We went on a date last night.  First to dinner and then a night cruise on the motorcycle.  Let me just say, chaps ROCK!!  I got mine last night and it made the ride so much more enjoyable.  Anyway, we cruised up a fun windy road on the reservation where Jesse works and just took in the stars.  It was so fun. On the way back we stopped by a gas station.  As we were filling up the bike we heard a clanking noise coming our way.  We looked to see what it was and saw a small sedan pulling into the gas station that sounded like it needed 5 quarts of oil.  The vehicle pulled up to an air and water station and the driver emerged.  A woman in black, from shirt to high heeled boots, stepped out of the car.  She hugged a thin tan sweater around her and within two steps almost face planted on the concrete.  Obviously drunk as a skunk, she swayed and wobbled her way to the convenient shop.

" Um, I don't think she should be driving," I said nodding over to her acrobatic attempt to step onto the curb.

" I'll have the store call tribal enforcement," Jesse sighed, throwing his gloves into his helmet as he walked away.

Ok, crisis averted right?  Tribal enforcement can take care of a lady too drunk to drive... only if she stays there until they get there.

The woman was slurringly asking anyone for help with her tire.  Jesse figures that changing it would stall her long enough for the "authorities" so he tells her that he will help her change her spare.  They walk over to the car and there is no tire to change!  The front tire is ripped off and the whole front side is streaked with paint barren scrapes!  That clanking noise we heard was her riding in on her rim.  

"Oh!" she exclaims, "somebody must have hit me."  RED FLAG!!  She doesn't even recall HOW the front tire came to non-existence.  Jesse takes the keys out of her hands and tells her she's not going anywhere and that the police are on their way.  She starts to argue with him saying she's fine, yadda, yadda, just had a few sleeping pills, yadda, yadda.  I decide to leave the bike to help because she starts to grab at Jesse and fight for her keys.  

"You touch me again and I will lay you on the ground, now sit down." Jesse says as he plants her on the curb.  She sulks for a moment then says she wants to sit in her car. 

  What the freak, where is tribal enforcement so I can go home?  You are totally ruining my date, chick! 

 She gets up and I tell her Jesse is serious.  She insists she needs to get to her car.  So we escort her to her car so she'll sit quietly.  She reaches in and grabs a 20 oz glass out of a cup holder  brimming with wine and dumps it onto the asphalt.  She rolls the cup under the car and then looks around like "I didn't do it.".  Yea, didn't see that honey.

Our sotally tober driver sits quietly for about thirty seconds when she decides to try to get her keys again.  She begs "Please, my children, I need to go to my children."

  Jesse stiff arms her once to put her in the seat.  She gets up again, drunks just don't get it, and Jesse takes her to the ground.  That is considered citizens arrest so now we are stuck there until CHP shows up.  LAME!!!  Anyway, we finally got to go home after two tribal enforcement cars, two sheriff cars, and one CHP car are on scene Oh and a partridge in a pear tree.  I guess it was better to meet up with her in the parking lot than have someone else meet her car on that windy road.  Just a recap in 2009 alone we have stop for a guy with a dislocated shoulder and had to citizen arrest a woman loaded with sleeping pills and alcohol.  Maybe I should start keeping a tally.