Depression is never easy

It doesn't matter how it comes on but it sure is hard to shake.  I have been one to struggle with depression for most of my life and every new wave of change seems to shake my foundation and set me unsteady for weeks or months to come.  I do not waver in my faith.  I know the gospel is true.  I know that Jesus Christ lives.  I know that families can be together forever.  I have been lucky enough to have been taught that by my family.  Even luckier to see some of them go on before me and have that reaffirmed to my mind.  That is not what makes my inner soul quake.  It's missing the loved ones lost.  It's loosing faith in myself and, sometimes, it is something completely unexplainable that grabs hold and drags at my subconcious continually.  I can't concentrate.  I become short tempered with my children.  I continually argue with myself about how I'm acting (just think PMS magnified to about 20).  I want to sleep all the time or not sleep at all just to make myself miserable.  I want to eat all the time, you know, all the comfort foods and all the foods that make you feel fat.... wait that is comfort food.  It's in those low moments that I begin to pray with more earnest.  Not kneel down to whine but just talk to my Heavenly Father about what is going on and beg for guidance.  It's in those low moments that I remember to turn to my scriptures and other uplifting material.  It's in those low moments that I make myself jog with the two kids in a stroller and dog in tow instead of walk.  Those moments help me to realize I am the only person who can make myself rise.